Don't you feel annoyed when you feel like you are not heard or listened to? It's the same for others. People are going to feel annoyed if you are not listening to them and that can create big communication problems.

I want to remind you that communication is a two-way street. You might be a master when it comes to selecting the right words, delivering your message with great tonality and perfectly rehearsed body language, and still yet, this does not mean that you are also a master listener.

And here are 5 signs revealing the fact that you are NOT a good listener:

1. INTERRUPTING

If you can not wait until people are done talking and cut their sentences before letting them finish, it's an obvious sign that you are NOT a good listener.

Because, it's an indication that your mind is focusing more on what you'll say in response to the information you are hearing, rather than allowing your brain to take it all in and process the information in a deeper sense.

TIP: Whenever you catch yourself interrupting someone, remind yourself not to do that, instead, give people the quiet time and space so that they can share what they want to share peacefully and completely.

2. CHANGING TOPICS

Knowingly or unknowingly if you are changing the topic of the conversation with the people you are communicating with, without any heads up, you are not a good listener.

TIP: Whenever you catch yourself wanting to change the topic, just inform the person/s you are communicating with, so that you don't show up as rude to leave them hanging with the topic you've been talking about but instead kind enough to show the curtesy that you'd love to move forward with another discussion topic. 

3. DEBATING

Communication is not a debate and you are not trying to win an argument over someone else. If your intention is to point out why your thinking is better, just know that you are not a good listener.

TIP: Whenever you catch yourself debating to be right and to score the argument as a win, you need to stop this urge and really shift your attention to why they might also be right. It'll surprisingly help you become respectful, attentive and present in your relationships.

4. PLAYING WITH DEVICES

In today's world, we all want to feel effective and productive by having a conversation and taking care of a task at the same time, and we call it "multitasking". But, there are countless studies showing that multitasking is an old myth, since the human brain can only focus on one task at any given time. So if your focus is on completing that task on your phone or laptop, then you are not listening.

TIP: Whenever you catch yourself playing with devices, while having an important conversation, please stop, focus on what the other is saying and show up fully present.

5. ASKING THEM TO REPEAT

Another obvious sign of not listening is asking others to repeat what they have just said.

TIP: Whenever you catch yourself asking others repeat what they said, release whatever it is you are thinking in your head and shift your focus to the information being shared with you in that moment. 

All in all, as you want to be heard so do others. That's all you need to remind yourself and you'll be on your way to create a better listener out of yourself!

And together we can create a better world, with more love ❤️ and #ShinyMinds.

With my loving HUGS 🤗

Shiny Burcu Unsal